What to Do When Your Feelings Are Too Big for Your Body Written for kids — and the grown-ups who care about them.

Have you ever felt like your body was suddenly a volcano?

Your heart beats fast.
Your throat feels tight.
Your hands squeeze — or maybe you want to yell, hide, or cry…
even when nothing huge happened on the outside.

I saw this just the other night.

I was at a friend’s house.
Adults were talking in the kitchen — loud laughter, clanking dishes — and I noticed their child slip quietly into the hallway and sit on the floor.

No one else saw it — but I did.

Their knees were pulled in tight.
Eyes glued to one spot on the wall.
Shoulders shaking a little.

Nothing “bad” had happened.
No one was upset with them.
And yet — their body looked full — full of a feeling that was too big to hold alone.

When I sat down nearby and asked softly what it felt like, they whispered:

“It’s like my body is panicking even though I’m not.”

And honestly?
That might be one of the smartest explanations I’ve ever heard.

🧠 Why Big Feelings Happen (Brain Science — Kid Language)

Inside your brain is a little alarm system called the amygdala.
Its job? Keep you safe.

When it thinks something might be scary or too much, it sends signals:

🚨 fast heartbeat
🚨 tight chest
🚨 urge to run, freeze, yell, or hide

Sometimes the alarm is right.
Sometimes it goes off even when you’re actually safe — like when a room is too loud, you make a mistake, or you suddenly feel small around a crowd.

That doesn’t mean you’re “too sensitive.”
It means your brain is trying to help — but it needs tools to calm down and reset.

🎒 Tools You Can Use Anywhere

🎢 1️⃣ Roller-Coaster Breathing

Hold up your hand like a mountain range.

⬆️ Slide up a finger – breathe in
⬇️ Slide down the finger – breathe out

Do it slowly.
Your brain hears:
“We’re okay.”

✏️ 2️⃣ Draw the Feeling Outside of You

Grab a pencil or the back of a napkin.

Draw what the feeling looks like.

A storm?
A scribble?
Something spiky or tiny?

Once it’s on paper, you can look at it instead of feeling trapped inside it.

❄️ 3️⃣ The Cold Switch

Cold things help your body calm faster than words sometimes.

Try:
• holding a cold water bottle
• ice cube between your fingers
• splash of water on cheeks

Your nervous system goes from:
“ALERT!” → “We’re safe.”

🗣️ 4️⃣ Say This Sentence

“This feeling is big — but I am bigger.”

Say it softly.
Say it in your mind.
Say it until you feel even a tiny shift.

🌱 A Story Ending — and a Beginning

Back in that hallway at my friend’s house —
the child tried roller-coaster breathing.

They didn’t speak.
They just traced their fingers… slow.

And after a minute, their body softened.
They stood up, walked back into the living room, and rejoined the world — not because the feeling disappeared…
but because they remembered they weren’t stuck.

Big feelings don’t make you weak.
Knowing what to do with them makes you powerful.

🧡 Try This Together (Kids + Adults)

Next time a feeling fills your whole body, you can both try:

Hand on chest.
Slow breath.
And a whisper:

“I’m allowed to feel this. And I can help myself through it.”

That’s strength.
And that’s growing.