The Sunday Scaries: Maybe Take the Chance

I started going to a book club this month.

Which, honestly, is probably a small example of what I want to talk about this week. Going somewhere new, sitting in a room with people I didn’t really know, and then somehow ending up in a conversation about some of our deepest fears.

You know, casual book club stuff.

We talked about letting people down, looking stupid, failing, not being open enough, putting yourself out there and having it not work out. And as I sat there listening, I kept hearing a common theme underneath a lot of it: taking a chance is freaking hard.

Because the alternative is really, really comfortable.

There is a reason we stay in our comfort zones. They work. We know what happens there. We know the routine, we know the people, and we know what we are good at. Maybe more importantly, we know how to avoid the things we aren't good at. It’s the path of least resistance, and honestly, there is something pretty nice about that.

And I don't even think comfort is necessarily a bad thing. Routine can be good. I love a routine. There is something great about knowing what your day looks like and feeling like you have some control over it. But I think the problem comes when comfortable quietly turns into stuck, and we don't even really notice it happening.

Sitting in that room of strangers talking about fear, I started thinking about what it actually means to face one. I think sometimes we picture facing a fear as this giant, dramatic moment where we suddenly decide we aren't scared anymore. Quit the job. Get on the plane. Tell the person how you feel. Sign up for the thing. Jump straight into the deep end and hope you figure out how to swim.

But maybe it doesn't have to work like that.

Maybe facing something you're afraid of is a lot more boring than that. Maybe you just put your feet in the water for a while. Then next time you go a little deeper. You don't have to cannonball into the damn pool just because you finally decided you wanted to get in.

I think that's where taking chances can feel a little more manageable. It doesn't have to mean blowing up your entire life or becoming some wildly adventurous new version of yourself overnight. It might just mean sending an email you've been thinking about, going somewhere by yourself, trying something you've always wondered about, saying yes when your first instinct is to come up with an excuse, or finally having a conversation you've been avoiding.

And sure, some of those things might not work out. You might look a little silly. Someone might say no. You might try something new and discover that you absolutely freaking hate it. But that's also kind of the deal, right? If we want the possibility of something new happening, we have to accept at least a little bit of the possibility that it doesn't go the way we hoped.

The funny thing is, I don't think most of us need to completely reinvent our lives. We probably just need to get a little more comfortable being uncomfortable every once in a while. Because every time we do something that scares us a little bit and survive it—which, spoiler alert, we usually do—the scary thing gets just a tiny bit smaller.

So that's the homework this week. Think about something you've been avoiding, putting off, or talking yourself out of simply because it feels uncomfortable. You don't have to conquer it this week, and you definitely don't need to jump into the deep end. Just ask yourself what putting your feet in the water would look like.

Maybe it's sending the text. Maybe it's showing up somewhere new. Maybe it's asking the question, signing up for something, or finally telling somebody what you've been thinking. Whatever it is, make it small enough that you can actually do it.

Because your comfort zone isn't the enemy. It's comfortable for a reason, and sometimes it's a pretty great place to be. I just don't know if we're supposed to spend all of our time there.

So this week, maybe wander a few steps outside of it and see what happens.

You can always come back.

But you might find something out there worth staying for.