Finding Yourself in Alone Time
I struggled with this week’s blog and which lens to write from. Do I write as Adam the school psychologist, sharing the lessons I see children practicing each week in schools? Or do I write as someone who also needs those same skills in his own life? Maybe the truth is that they intersect, because I am not only teaching these skills, I am practicing them too.
This week is all about alone time.
For adult me, that looks like getting in my car after work with the backseat filled with snacks, layered clothing, and my guitar, and heading straight for the mountains. For you, it might look like curling up in a hammock with headphones, burying your head in a good book, or walking through the park. The point is not where you are, it’s the act of stepping away from the things that demand your attention and rediscovering who you are when nobody is asking anything of you.
In a previous blog, I wrote about recharging. While alone time certainly recharges us, it also helps us find ourselves. Alone time gives our brains space to process all we take in during the day. When we are always surrounded by people, devices, and responsibilities, it’s easy to lose track of our own voice. Quiet moments give us clarity, lower our stress, and build resilience. Alone time is not about shutting the world out, it’s about strengthening yourself so you can show up better when you step back into it.
Growing up as an only child, my alone time was vast. I would sing and dance in the mirror, ride my bike to faraway lands (okay, really just the park two blocks away, but to me it felt like an epic adventure), and sit in my room drawing quirky characters with even quirkier backstories. That space gave me permission to be uniquely me, to get comfortable with my own oddness. And when we feel comfortable in our own skin, we grow. Who better to build that relationship with than the face you wake up to each morning?
Think about what you like to do when you’re taking space: long walks, zoning out to your favorite playlist, doodling in a notebook, building Legos, playing with your pet, or even lying in the grass staring at the sky. Try carving out time each week for one of those things. If it helps, schedule it, maybe every Friday from 3:00 to 3:30 is “hang out with myself” time. For some, it’s a solo weekend getaway; for others, it’s ten quiet minutes before bed.
Every big singer on stage, every teacher in front of a class, every player on the field, at some point, they built themselves up during quiet, unseen moments. Alone time is where confidence grows its roots. Build that confidence in the safety of your own space, and then carry it into the world.
Take the time. You are worth it.