Isn’t getting older grand?
A child I work with recently told me they’re scared to get older.
They talked about bigger expectations. More responsibility. Harder days.
They worried that something important might disappear—that being older would mean less fun, less safety, less magic.
It wasn’t dramatic. It was honest.
And sitting there with them, I realized how often we talk about getting older like it’s something to brace for instead of something to step into.
We warn kids about it.
We joke about it as adults.
We measure it in losses more than gains.
But the truth is, getting older isn’t just about what gets heavier.
It’s also about what gets wider.
What We’re Afraid Of When We Think About Getting Older
The fear makes sense.
Getting older does come with more responsibility.
More decisions.
More moments where no one swoops in to fix things for you.
For kids, that can feel like the end of something precious.
For adults, it can feel like a narrowing—fewer options, fewer chances, fewer firsts.
We don’t lie when we acknowledge that weight.
But we miss something important when we stop there.
What Actually Grows With Age
What we don’t talk about enough is how much capacity grows as we age.
You gain skills you couldn’t have accessed earlier:
Emotional regulation
Perspective
Knowing when to push and when to rest
Knowing what matters and what doesn’t deserve your energy
These skills don’t arrive all at once.
They stack quietly, year after year, often unnoticed until you need them.
You also gain new freedoms:
Choosing your people
Choosing your pace
Choosing how much you explain
Choosing what you no longer carry
Getting older doesn’t mean you lose agency.
It often means you finally get to use it.
Three Generations, One Moment
This all hit me in the same week I was talking with that child.
I’m getting another year older next week.
Not in a dramatic way—just one of those birthdays that sneaks up on you.
At the same time, I’m planning a summer trip with my 78-year-old mom.
We’re traveling to foreign countries together—new streets, new languages, unfamiliar places.
Watching her plan that trip is a quiet reminder of something powerful:
getting older doesn’t mean you stop exploring.
It often means you explore with more confidence, more curiosity, and fewer apologies.
In one week, I’m holding:
A child afraid of growing up
My own reflection on aging
And a parent who is still expanding her world
That doesn’t feel like decline.
It feels like continuity.
A Better Way to Think About “Older”
Getting older doesn’t mean the door closes.
It means the map gets bigger.
Each year adds tools you didn’t have before.
Each year gives you more choice about how you move through the world.
Yes, the stakes change.
Yes, responsibility increases.
But so does your ability to meet what’s in front of you.
What I Told the Child (and What I Tell Myself)
I didn’t tell my client not to be scared.
I told them that every year comes with new tools they don’t have yet—and that they won’t be alone when those years arrive.
And I think that’s the part worth holding onto.
The excitement of getting older isn’t loud.
It doesn’t announce itself.
It shows up quietly—in new skills, new freedoms, and the growing realization that you’re more capable than you once were.
That doesn’t mean life gets easier.
It means you get stronger at living it.
And honestly?
That’s something to look forward to.