Getting Out of a Funk

I was in a funk the other day. Not like anything huge had happened, and I couldn’t really point to one specific thing that was wrong. I just felt off. I was in my head, kind of down, kind of irritated, and I knew I was there but couldn’t seem to shake it.

I think that’s one of the weird things about funks. Sometimes you know exactly why you’re in one. You had a bad day, something happened with a friend, school is stressful, work is stressful, you didn’t sleep, whatever. Other times it’s just this collection of little things that builds up until suddenly you don’t really feel like yourself.

For me, one of the first things I notice is that I start pulling inward. I think more. I talk less. Things that normally don’t bother me suddenly feel heavier. I can get stuck replaying the same stuff in my head, and even when I know that’s what I’m doing, it doesn’t always mean I can just stop.

So I tried some of the obvious stuff. I went for a walk. I drank some water. I tried getting out of the house and moving around a little bit. All good things, and probably things I needed to do anyway, but I was still kind of in it.

And I actually think that’s important. Sometimes we make coping skills sound like they’re supposed to immediately fix how you feel. Go for a walk and boom, better. Take some deep breaths and now everything is fine. That’s not really how it works. Sometimes the walk helps 5%. Sometimes drinking some water helps 2%. Sometimes you do all the healthy stuff and still feel crummy for a while.

Later, one of my older mentors stopped by. She could tell I wasn’t quite myself and said some really kind things to me. Nothing dramatic. She didn’t solve anything. She just knew me well enough to remind me of some things I probably needed to hear at that moment. Then I got a really great hug from her daughter, which definitely didn’t hurt.

That was probably the first time all day I felt myself come out of it a little bit.

I think there are two parts to getting out of a funk. The first is noticing that you’re in one. That sounds obvious, but it really isn’t. Sometimes you’ve been quieter, more annoyed, more tired, less interested in things, or spending way more time in your own head for a few days before you even realize what’s happening.

The second part is not expecting one thing to magically fix it. Maybe you need movement. Maybe you need food or sleep or water. Maybe you need to get off your phone. Maybe you need to do something you normally enjoy even if you don’t really feel like doing it. And sometimes you need another person.

That last one is probably the hardest because when I’m in a funk, reaching out is usually not the thing I want to do. I want to disappear into my own head and figure it out myself. But sometimes another person can see us a little more clearly than we can see ourselves in that moment.

So if you’re in a funk this week, maybe don’t make the goal “feel amazing.” Just notice it. Try one thing. Then another thing. Go for the walk. Drink the water. Get some sleep. Talk to somebody. Let someone be nice to you. Take the hug.

You don’t have to solve everything at once. Sometimes you just need to find the first little thing that helps you start feeling like yourself again.